Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Even on hard days

Today I need to remember something.

Big D is sick. Just a head cold but still a gross one. And he's 2 yrs old. Therefore - he has a right to be grumpy. He was whiney and needy and cried over everything as SOON as I got him up today. Before Ben left for work I said --- today is gonna be rough, isn't it buddy. Everything I did made him mad. Like ragging and gnashing of teeth mad. Part of it was my fault. #1. It is so pretty and warm outside and I'm itching to clean up and the yard and work outside. Usually he'll bee-bop in the back yard for HOURS but not when you are 2 yrs old and sick. #2. I am distracted with church calling stresses and my desire for activities and plans to work out even when I'm the one that is planning them. And when it is not communicated to me that things are in motion...I desire to take over in a bossy-pants manner. #1 and 2 were making me less patient with my little guy. Late morning - I had to put him down stairs in front of Cars movie (God bless Pixar), 5 cookies and milk... while I worked out my calling frustrations.
Then we had to get in the car to drive Dad's lunch to him. Dalton was way ticked off about this too because his movie was over, he's tired, and 'I HAVE TO GET IN THE DANG CAR?!' The drive to Ben's work is like 10 minutes tops. But when we got there I turned around to find him asleep in his car seat. Chocolate chips smeared on his face.  :)
When we got home and it was time to get out --- at the frustration of today melted off with his limp little arms and floppy head that stayed asleep on my shoulder as I carried him to bed. I thought of how I wanted to burn the memory of his fat baby body sleeping in my arms 2 yrs ago and now I want to do it again.... a fat 2 yr old asleep on my shoulder. ( I had a brief moment of rage when I stepped on Scout who asked 'can you think of something blue?' .... thankfully not waking D. Otherwise it would have been a swift end for that bear...) Even as I laid him down in his crib D didn't wake up just plopped flat on his back. Uneven hair cut from when I tried to trim it when Ben's beard trimmers. Chocolate smeared face. Football jersey and softy jeans that look like he's off to the pep rally. And the crib covered in Lighting McQueen stickers from the sticker book to keep him busy after he wakes up.
Even on hard days.... he's not so bad. :)

1 comment:

Jeska Stowell said...

Awww, make me cry!

Thanks for writing this... it was exactly what I needed to read tonight, dealing with my own sick kiddos. :)